What to do if you find out the person you’re dating is deep in debt.

If you’re dating these days, you’re very likely to meet some folks who are dealing with serious debt.

one in five Americans say they have more credit card debt than emergency savings, according to a recent survey from personal finance company bankrate.

and there are lingering student loans, nearly 6million Americans owe $50.000 or more in student debt, according to analysis from researchers with the brooking institution.

you’re probably not going to discuss a person debt on the first date, but at some point, you’ll find out about it and the ensuing conversation is boundary to be a little awkward. The goodnews for both of you? Financial expect says debt shouldn’t necessary be a deal breaker.

Below are several tip for handling the conversation.

  1. Recognize that not all debt is created equally.this has to be open discussiondiscussion without judgement. Talk to them and find out how much debt was accumulated. Sometimes how the person got into debt is more important thanthan how much debt they’ve accrued, for example, there’s a big difference between a person who has $50.000 in credit card debt, because they use the money for vacation and fun, and a person who $50.000 in school debt. In the latter case. They may be serious about money and their future. Remember not all debt is bad debt. I’d much rather have a spouse who used their credit on education rather than fun.
  2. Keep an open mind even if is credit card debt. According to a recent survey by Goldman Sachs, nearly 70 percent of Americans say a partner credit card debt would be the most bothersome type of debt when compared to student loans, a car loan, or medical-related debt. That said, it’s important in this situation to keep an open mind: credit card debt doesn’t mean that your partner has an excessive spending problem. A series of unexpected life moments such as a car accident emergency. Vet bill or he repair may have contributed to the debt, identifying the underlying issues allows you to help your partner overcome any potential bad habits and asses strategies to pay it off faster. To get your conversation started and make your partner feel comfortable, open up about your own financial situation. Talk about your any debt you current have or have paid off before focusing the attention to their situation.
  3. Have an honest conversation about your relationship with money growing up.your partner need to be Willing to talk about there upbringing around money. What message did they get from there parents about what money meant to them? Are they really different from yours? If so this lay the foundation for regular checking with each other about money issue, as there is more chance of problems if you both come from where saving was part of the expectation, perhaps you can help get them back on course.
  4. Ask yourself: am i ok being in a relationship with someone who has accumulated debt?. Like any other quality money should not be discounted when choosing partner, especially one that you intend to spend your life with, and probably, a bank account, you need to ask yourself if you are OK walking into a relationship owing most money to others because once you are in long-term relationship your partner problem inevitably become your own.
  5. If you feel uncomfortable broaching the subject. Frame it as a conversation about your future together. These conversations aren’t going to be easy, especially if the person you are dating is in serious financial trouble. Try and frame the conversation in terms of things you want to do together like have kids, buy a house or travel. What debt mean for your life together or your financial goals? You may need to put some of these goals on hold until your partner get debt under control

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